The art of Irritating

Welcome! I assume you would really like to learn the art of “Irritating”( And yeah, everything’s an art nowadays). Let’s define irritation. In some cases, it is discomfort. Like  an ant’s sting. The way it  causes itches.etc.  But in most cases, the definition changes to vexing and making people angry.

Since, we got the definition cleared, let me teach you the real deal – How to irritate someone. In this post I will teach you how to practically use the second definition. I will teach you how to irritate

  1. Friends
  2. Your good old corrector Mom
  3. Strangers( Yes you heard me right)
  4. Teachers

First things first. It’s better not to irritate strangers, because you don’t know anything about them. If you really want to irritate someone, it’s better to do it with your friends as you most probably know a good deal about them.

So, now let’s get ready.

  1. Friends:You mostly have a lot of friends. You also mostly know their interests in music, movies, etc. For this you also would need to learn audio and video editing. It’s pretty simple. All you have to do is select your friend’s favorite song/movie and edit it. When it comes to music always make sure that the pitch is at  the lowest at the beginning and highest towards the end. For the movies, movies take a small bit out of it( always make sure it’s his/her favorite ). Make sure everybody’s head is replaced with head of llama or a giant otter or the head of a naked mole. Make sure that everybody’s voice sounds like Justin Bieber’s. Record his reaction and upload it on  a social media platform titled “What happens when plants start consuming alcohol.
  2. Corrector Mom: Yo mos’ly no wat I’m talkin’ about. Select a rap song and set it as her phone’s ringtone. If you are not good at English, show her your answer sheet. Show her a story written in the Chatting Language. That’s enough to make her read the Yellow pages. Really, believe me.
  3. Strangers: You can do this to any stranger. All you have to do follow a person and keep shouting “THIS GUY HERE IS THE WANTED PERSON SHOWN ON THE POLICE’S NOTICE BOARD!”. You might as well end up in the jail. Don’t be surprised if he  is really the wanted guy.
  4. Teacher: Well, it’s pretty easy to irritate a teacher. There a ton of things you can do. You select an apple with a maggot in it and present it to a teacher. Pretend as though  are asleep in the middle of the music class (if the class is learning a loud song, it is the most preferable time). Read your Science textbook in the middle of the English period. You can even shout, “THIS IS SPARTA!!” loud enough for all the other class mates to hear you. The most silent time of the class is the most preferable time. You can bring a frog and release it in the middle of the English period. You can take your Walkman or iPod and your headphones. Well, you get my point.

Most people think that irritating is, well, BAD! They really have a boring sense of humor.

“Irritating someone is an art and nothing else. It requires a great amount of humour and Imagination.”

 

~Ants in my pants~

Corrector Mom

In this post I am going to talk about my mom.

Do you have a mom who, no matter when, corrects your typos, texting language like IDK, watchin’, ya’ll, etc. If no, good for you! My mom’s an editor. You get my point, right? Even while chatting, where typos and all the abbreviations are the language, She makes sure there is no typo, all the names are starting with a capital letter,etc.

If my Mom edits write a Rap song it would something like this:

Before:

Hey bro, Why yo beatin’ my Homies?

Yo wanna beat somebody, beat me!

Never beat mah Homies.

Cuz, de work for Me.

YEAH!

After:

Hey brother, Why are you beating my Homies?

You want to beat somebody, beat me!

Never beat my Homies.

Because they work for Me.

YES!

Now , imagine K’naan rapping the aftermath of my Mom’s editing!

Anyway, “Never mess around, with your English, when Corrector Mom is Around!”